December 14, 2009


We of the ToI are big fans of the Japanese Super Sentai Series and their American counterparts, the Power Rangers. As with many foreign properties that are eventually brought over to the U.S., the original Japanese shows kicked major hind quarters. Yes, they were campy, but still cool. Whereas the Power Rangers seemed to keep the camp, but just didn't have as much of cool. Overtime, Power Rangers finally started filming their own footage here and there which has a to count for something. Anyway, we decided that we wanted to share our love of these wonderful, color-coded heroes. We'll be doing this over a series of posts. Today, we're each sharing our all time favorite Power Rangers theme songs. Tomorrow, it'll be our all time favorite Super Sentai theme songs.

One thing you cannot deny is how pumped up you got when the theme song for the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers came on. Now, not all the theme songs have had that rock vibe that gets you goin (I'm looking at you, Mystic Force's dancy dance theme song). Now, onto my favorite theme song.

Power Rangers SPD

My fist goes up into the air everytime I hear this. I jump and bang my head with much vigor. This song just makes me want to throw on a costume and run out and fight aliens. For a Power Rangers intro to really get you in the mood, the theme song needs to be fast-paced and exciting. This song hits both of those for me. Plus, I like watching the intro for that little smirk on Z's face. My goodness, that girl looks good.

November 30, 2009

And Sheperds We Shall Be

We of the ToI LOVE The Boondock Saints for various reasons. Me: Because of the action and the fact that it's incredibly quotable. Olivia: Because of the action and this one line "Is it dead?" Murphy: Because of the action and because they chose to have the brothers be Irish.

Due to our love of this cult classic, it was only natural that we be there opening night. We went. We watched. We smiled. Considering the Trifection has never done a joint post, we figured we'd change that by doing a round table review of The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. And by review, I mean the three of us totally geeking out over it. And just to warn you, there may be a few spoilers here and there.

Tanner: So............ we can all agree that we witnessed something grand.

Murphy: Agreed

Olivia: Agreed

Murphy: I'll admit, I still feel the first one is a far superior film.

Olivia: That's usually the case with most sequels, but Troy Duffy was still on top form. And he wasn't trying to make a GREAT film, just a film the fans would enjoy. I feel he at least succeeded in that.

Tanner: What did you two think about the addition of Eunice?

Olivia: She was no Smecker.

Murphy: At the beginning, she was pretty annoying. The gum-chewing got on my nerves.

Olivia: And it took me a while to get used to that accent.

Tanner: But you have to admit, she got fairly likable in the second half of the movie.

Olivia: That's true, and I loved the scenes between her and Greenley. What did you guys think of Romeo?

Tanner: I thought he was hilarious.

Murphy: I was scared they were just going to make him a clone of Rocco, but I was so glad this wasn't the case. In my own little dream world, I see a spin-off film featuring the wonderful misadventures of Rocco and and Romeo.

Olivia: -drifts off scrubs style- Oh, Rocoo. Mexicans don't like that word. You're so silly.

Tanner: Speaking of Rocco, it was good to see him again.

Olivia: The was the greatest pep talk in the history of pep talks in cinema.

Murphy: I was glad to see him delivering the opening narration. How did you like the scenes showing Il Duce's beginnings?

Olivia: I thought it was a nice touch.

Tanner: Especially since we got to see the evolution of his vest.

Olivia: Guys, moment of silence for Smecker.




Murphy: That's right folks, Agent Smecker died in the time between the first and second.

Olivia: I miss my Willem.

Tanner: Don't we all?

Olivia: So....... that ending.


Murphy: That came out of left field for me.

Tanner: Great way to leave us hanging for a third film.

Olivia:I hope said third film gets made. And I hope it doesn't take ten years like this one.

Murphy: Aye.

Tanner: So, how would you sum up your experience watching this movie.

Olivia: Even with the main focus of the first half being mainly on humor, it was still a great flick.

Murphy: I'll definately be seeing it again.

Tanner: I'll be buying the DVD, of course.

Olivia: Well that seems to be all for now. We have another team post up soon, only more thought will be put into it. Adieu.

Murphy: Farewell.

Tanner: Later.

September 10, 2009

Bit More Clickity Click Click Click

Murphy's turn.

I'm sitting at this coffee shop in Lawrence, Kansas waiting on my iced cappuccino and typing on my laptop. As is the guy next to me. As is the girl next to me. As is the couple I see on the other side of the shop. Is this a trend now? I wonder what they're typing. I wonder if they're wondering what I'm typing. I'm going to ask this guy what he's typing. He was mean and gave me the silent treatment. I'll ask this girl. Apparently, she's writing a comedic play. She talked to me because I have an accent.

Why do you Americans call it "football"? I'm not saying I don't like it. It's an exciting sport, but where's the feet? Okay, kick-off and punting. I understand that. But why don't you call it what it is: rugby with pads and helmets? Was that an insult? I don't know. Take it how you want to.

I've been invited to parties in which people were going to "party like a rock star". That's pretty broad considering how many different genres of rock there are. Are we going to party like heavy metal rockers, punk rockers, folk rockers, etc.? Be specific, people. If we're going to party like heavy metal rock stars, that may be too much for me, but I may be able to take the mellow folk atmosphere. Keep this in mind next time you use that phrase.

Order's up. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Yummy. She wrote her number on the side of my cup. I should let her know that I'm currently taken. She blushed out of embarrassment. Turns out, she handed me the wrong cup. Oh, what a story that will make for her to tell all her friends.

Set up for a suspense film: a detective tracks down a serial killer known as the Barrel O' Monkeys killer because he leaves a little red plastic monkey at every murder because that's what he feels murder is as fun as. Ridiculous, yes. Fun, yes. Enthralling, highly unlikely.

Like Tanner before me, I decided to do a spellcheck. The only thing highlighted was "Mmmmmmmmmmmm". I decided to see if there were any suggestions to spell this correctly. No suggestions. Spellcheck, how is it a misspelling if you have not suggestions for it? I don't understand you, spellcheck. I just don't UNDESTAND you.

Yes, that misspelling was intentional.

I just got a dirty look from some guy who walked in. Is it my hat? Does this fellow think I'm just another trendy hipster who thinks it's cool to go to a coffee shop and type random nonsense onto his or her laptop? I'll have you know, sir, that many Irishman are known to wear caps like this. Don't pigeonhole me just because I'm on a laptop in a coffee shop wearing a vest and flip-flops along with this hat. I'm going to say something to my new friend to my right as he walks by. He looked and smiled. Oh, you realize I'm Irish now so you say to yourself "Oh, THAT'S why he's wearing that cap. I thought he was trying to be cool like most kids these days. He's not sad, anymore." Go drown in your latte.

Why don't we have more washboard players in bands? The washboard is an amazing instrument. If you play the washboard, you are partying like a folk rock star. Way to be, my friend. Way. To. Be. I love you.

So, my new friend rocks. Her comedic play is about a girl rocker who works as a receptionist and who's best friend is a robot. This is brilliant stuff. Possible platonic soul mate? I think so.

Victoria, I won't date her. Don't worry.

Tanner just told me that he has to go in for jury duty selection on Monday. Wouldn't be great if he got some dramatic case that will eventually get turned into an episode of Law & Order? He can then say "THIS OUTCOME HAPPENED BECAUSE OF ME!!!" And he would say that. He would jump up and shout that. And then he'd flail his arms about. And there would be a koala. Why would there be a koala? Because there just would be. Never question Bruce Dickincon!

You have reached the end of the blog. Congratulations. And Nina: How dare you splash your plain coffee into my iced cappuccino. Such things are atrocities in the world of coffee counter culture.

September 8, 2009

Click Click Click Goes The Keyboard

I'm experimenting today. Instead of coming to you with something already planned, I'm going to let my fingers do the talking. Well, the typing. But my fingers always do the typing, don't they? Well, my fingers will type while my mind wanders aimlessly into odd and ends and ins and outs. Understand? No? Good enough.

So things. Things are things and some of these things I like. Other things I'm not a big fan of. Not sure why. Maybe it has to do with personal tastes or maybe a clash of beliefs. Who knows? God knows. And the Shadow knows. Wait, the Shadow doesn't know why I'm not a fan of them. But he knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men. Then he laughs after stating what said evils are. He's maniacally heroic like that, don't ya know?

I just did a spell check. No misspellings found, thus far. Maybe a few grammatical errors, but not misspellings. That's fine. I'm okay with grammatical errors. Who cares if the I have adjectives and adverbs mixed up? Do you? You do? Well, you must be a communist. How dare you disagree with me and the wonderful world of capitalism. You and your communism. How dare you. I have no love for you.

Itchy hand. Wonder why it itches so. No bites there. No scratches. No scabs. No reason for it to itch. But it just started itching. Odd. Many things are odd. You most likely find me odd, right now. If you do and you're actually enjoying it, then you're alright. But if you think me being odd is just too odd, go to the previous paragraph and start reading it at the seventh sentence. Eventually you'll make your way back here. Unless you went back again. Then you'll wind up reading in circles and never read what I'm typing right now. Therefore it would be useless for me to even be explaining this thus wasting the time of the people who enjoy my oddness. But there might be a chance they get entertainment out of your childlike ignorance. If this is the case, everyone wins. Except the communists.

My dog was outside for fifteen minutes. I let him out to go to the bathroom. He comes in and starts sniffing around. He doesn't need food and water. He has that already. Maybe he needs out again, despite the fact he just came in. I let him out. He urinated. But he did that when I let him out the first time. Cowboy, I hope you're okay. Many of you may be alarmed by this, thinking his bladder may be having problems due to his age. Worry not, dear friend. He just drank the rest of his water when he came back in. Did I forget to mention this earlier? I did? Well, I'll remember not to do that again. Thank you for informing me.

SweeTarts are more tart than sweet, in my humble opinion. Humble opinion. Is it really humble? I'm stating it, hoping people will listen to me and maybe adopt this opinion. Doesn't seem too humble to me. I'll restate that. In my opinion. There. Problem solved. I'm glad you read that and have now taken this opinion and are touting it about as if it is your own. But it is not your own. It's not my own. Many people could have this opinion.

One reason I'm writing this is to prove that drugs and alcohol are not needed for random writing such as this. If you're bored enough; eccentric enough; hyper enough; occasionally pretentious enough; and have a means to put the words down, then you too can do such a feet. Try it sometime. You may be surprised.

Olivia and Murphy just drank my last two Jones Sodas. How dare they. This means war, my cerebral cellmates. This. Means. War. Sleep with one eye open.

You are most likely confused. Objective: complete.

Who are you? And why are you reading this? I'd honestly like to know. Seriously. Tell me. Who are you? I really WANT to know.

These people befuddle me on occasions. Like my father. He's standing there watching the television. This is nothing out of the ordinary. But I'm taking into consideration what it is on the television he's watching. The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack. Why is he stopping to actually pay attention to it? It's not normally a show he'd take any interest in. Why?

I just let Cowboy out again. He left a present on the porch. He does that sometimes because he feels since he's a dog, he doesn't have to conform to the behavioral codes of society. Fight the power, Cowboy.

Olivia said my mom bought that cherry Jones for her. No she didn't, Olivia. She specifically said "I bought you some Jones, Tanner. Better hide it." "You" refers to me, Olivia. "Me" being Tanner. "Tanner" being the one writing this. "The one writing this" being someone who is a bit too out there at times. Some still find it hard to believe I don't use drugs. Do I really come across that way?

I was accused of being a pot-smoking hippy by the pickle vendor at the Ren Faire. How dare he.

I think I've written enough.


Tanner Criswell Roberts.


September 3, 2009

Cartoons That Could Do Well In Live-Action Territory (If Done Right) Part Three

Now belonging to this blog, I feel I should do one of these as a rite of passage. And even though I have a list of action packed cartoons on my list, I felt I should do something a bit different than what Tanner and Murph have posted.

Stop me if you've heard this one: girl tries to lead a fairly average life while moonlighting as a world famous pop sensation. Sound familiar? If you said Hannah Montana, I'm going to kill you face clean off.

I'm talking about...

For those of you not familiar with this series, Jem is the alter ego of Jerrica Benton, owner of Starlight Music. Jerrica must juggle duties of manager of Starlight and her super rockin career as Jem, lead singer of the holograms (let's see Miley try to run her own studio. BOOYAH, BABY BILLY RAY!!!). But instead of just donning a wig, Jerrica becomes Jem using Synergy, her father's greatest invention. For those wondering, Synergy was a holographic computer designed as a state-of-the-art audio/visual synthesizer (SYNergy!!! GET IT?!?!?!)

Jem travels around with her band/friends, the Holograms. However, trouble always follows due to their rival band known as the Misfits (not to be confused with that incredibly bad ace band that Hot Topic has milked the crud out of). They'd most likely just use the Stingers as the rival band, so as not to confuse anyone (plus I have a good feeling shirts for this movie will eventually land in Hot Topic).

If this were to be transferred to the screen, it would be best done as a musical dramedy. Part of me wants to see Jem as a bit of an indy pop/rocker type, but I'll still be fine as the strictly glitterized pop songstress. She needs to run into the Misfits quite a bit (and maybe the Stingers for the crazy, pretentious, nostalgia freak like me).

Casting. For casting............ okay ya got me there. I don't get as into picking actors out like Tanner and Murphy. I say just grab a talented unknown off broadway and see what happens.

Okay, so mine wasn't as detailed as the boys', but it got my point across. We need a Jem movie to be an ultra rocking anti-Hannah Montana.

I am Olivia and I am done.

August 13, 2009

Lady Olivia Has Arrived

Bon jour to you all. I am Olivia Madison AKA Lady Olivia. I was invited by Tanner to join his blogging team. He also wanted me to announce that said team has a name now: The Trifection of Inflection (hey, it was his idea not mine).

Just to warn you, I'm a little bit more random than Tanner and I will be throwing random thoughts in sandwiched between parentheses (that's how I roll, sucka).

So, since Murph did his little introduction I figured it's only natural that I do the same.

As already stated, my name is Olivia Madison. I'm a 23-year-old geektress originally from Memphis, Tennessee where I was with an all-girl Queen tribute band known as King (clever, no?). I'm currently residing in Edmond with my cousin and shall be attending OU. BOOMER SOONER!!! Tanner has me doing that now.

Speaking of that crazy kid, we originally met via the Tube of You. I found his channel and thought his videos were pointless and random. My kinda film making. He provided me with nice geek-out sessions and I gave him hope that there really are women who will marry a man because he can sing various cartoon theme songs WITH their narration intact.

Further on down the road (CLAPTON FOREVER) Tanner introduced me to a wonderful Irishman named Murphy Brannigan. You can imagine my giddiness when I found out that he knew a geek with an Irish accent *swoons*.

Needless to say, we became a super pretentious geek force to be reckoned with.

Now, random facts about me.
  • Since the age of thirteen, I've wanted to marry Flash Gordon.
  • I see Hannah Montana as a total rip-off of Jem.
  • I seriously think Joss Whedon needs to turn Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog into an off-Broadway show.
  • I'm one of the few women who can resist the charms of Robert Pattinson. Yes, ladies, I know he's gorgeous. But honestly, there's too much angst for me. I like my fellas light-hearted with a wee bit of sorrow from time-to-time. However, I do enjoy the Twilight series.
  • I want to write a musical based around the songs of Carol King.
  • I want to point out that Secret Diary of a Call Girl is an ITV series NOT a Showtime series. I have trouble looking at the DVD boxes knowing this (this was for you, Murphy).
  • The only wrestling promotion I'll watch is Chikara Pro.
  • I love Neo-Victorian style.
  • I'm currently rocking out to ABBA.

So that is me and that is all for now.

So long, all you happy people

*big smooches*

Lady Olivia

August 7, 2009

Bernard Cogsworth

Since I introduced you all to Prince Calvin Mortimer, I figured I should now let you meet his personal pilot, friend, and partner-in-adventure.

Captain Bernard Cogsworth

Captain Bernard Cogsworth is the son of Admiral Jonathan Cogsworth. He joined the Royal Air Corps of Eldonia at the age of sixteen and shined brightly as one of the best young pilots Eldonia had ever seen. As time went on, his skill in the sky made him quite the celebrity. He was considered a hero after many dogfights and a particularly daring search and destroy mission in the War of Nations (known by many as the Grand War of Nations, but Bernard refuses to call it 'grand').

He was awarded the highest military award in Eldonia, the Crest of Greensmith, as well as being four-time champion of the Storm Cloud Open Air Race. All this happened before he turned twenty-five. At twenty-six, he became head airship and aeroplane mechanic for the Corps. He still competes in a few small air races and also works as part-time flight instructor.

After months of wanting to get out and see the world, Bernard was given an invitation to the Royal Palace to meet with King Byron Mortimer. King Byron explained to Bernard how Prince Calvin's most recent pilot unfortunately retired after only two months. The idea of being the chauffeur for spoiled young royal didn't seem too appealing to Bernard, but he realized this was his chance to finally get out and get a small taste of adventure. He just hoped Calvin wouldn't be whiny little sissy boy refusing to get his hands dirty and do anything dangerous.

July 24, 2009

Cartoon's That Could Do Well In Live-Action Territory (If Done Right) Part Two

Geek friend Friday will return next week because I thought of a good part two in this blog series from me and Murph.

I enjoyed Murphy's choices in out first installment. I've always said Gargoyles would be a great live-action flick, but I never gave that much thought about Bravestarr. Great thoughts on that one, Murph.

My choice today is another from the golden days of 80's action toons.


A high-octane, fast-paced sci-fi adventure with lots of explosions. Spells out summer blockbuster to me.

This is something that's so crazy that's there's not too many ways to mess it up. With those accelerator suits, maybe we should start referring to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra as a prototype Centurions flick (or maybe I'll just tell myself that so I'll calm down a bit).

Now, the origin treatment would most likely be how the first movie plays out, especially if they want to turn it into a franchise. But it's also something in which the first few minutes of the movie could establish what the Centurions are all about. I say the trailer could pretty much be a super sleek version of the old cartoon intro.

As for casting, I can think of at least two actors I'd like to see in it. Gerard Butler as Max Ray, Bradley Cooper as Ace McCloud and Nathan Fillion as Jake Rockwell.

So that's my choice for today. I have another, but I'll save it because Murphy already handled a sci-fi western in the last one.

July 17, 2009

Geek Friend Friday Issue Number One

Being geeks, Murphy and I make some interesting geeky friend. Of course, there's nothing wrong with that. The geekier the better. And as geeks, we sometimes think about what fictional geeks we'd most likely be super cool buddies with. Now, me and said geek buddies probably wouldn't be hanging out with Murphy at the club seeing as how he has the looks and we'd scare all the girls off.

Back to my point.

There's a lot of wonderful geeks in the various shows/comic books/movies/novels we enjoy. So, we decided to talk about a few of these wonderful imaginary friends on our blog.

21 and 24

21 and 24 are the loveable lackies of the not-so-menacing supervillain known as the Monarch. This little glimpse into their antics are only a tiny taste of their geekery. They've talked about how they're "those guys that never get shot" when it comes to being henchmen, argued about how Smurfs reproduce, done a really bad beatbox (haven't we all?), trying to create battle damage by rubbing nacho chips all over your face, create mix tapes, and many other funderful geeky things. Also, 21 has a super cool collection of prop replicas from various sci-fi and fantasy movies and comic books (including one of the few real working lightsabers). And let's not leave out 24's Nissan Stanza. The convos and arguments would never stop between Roberts & Brannigan and 21 & 24.

Alas, 24 lost his life during the finale of season 3. Oh well, we still got 21 and his super cool collection. I CALL DIBS ON ARAGORN'S SWORD!!!

July 7, 2009

Do Not Trust MNU

No matter what you hear from or about Multi-National United, do not believe any of it. MNU says they're giving rights to non-humans, but they're using them merely as cheap labor. They put them in slums with very little in terms of public services.

Read this blog for more information on the real MNU:

June 29, 2009

Tandom Thoughts One

Where the heck have I been? Around.

Tandom Thoughts was a column that I wrote for my school paper my junior and senior years. It was delightfully forgettable and tandom. In fact, the name of the column was a failed attempt to combine my name with the word "random". Instead, it just made the yearbook teacher constantly point out that we misspelled tandem therefore making the yearbook crew far superior at spellchecking. Yet, he constantly tried to recruit me to join yearbook and bring Tandom Thoughts with me. Hmmmmmmm.

Anyway, I decided "Why not bring Tandom Thoughts to Blogger?" So here it is. Tandom Thoughts coming to Blogger.

To start this new adventure, I thought I'd give you my favorite edition of Tandom Thoughts I wrote.

We all like a good story. Especially ones that are so unbelievable, people don't care whether they are true or not.

To prove my point. I will now tell the story about how I killed a bear.

I was strolling through the woods thinking to myself, when suddenly I heard a rustling behind some bushes.

I went to check it out and lo-and-behold I was staring a ten-foot-bear right in the leg.

We stared at each other for a bit. Neither of us was really doing anything. That is until I noticed he was scolding me. Ten-foot-bear or not, I don't like being scolded at.

"Your fur is mangy," I told him. He scolded more and said, "So is yours." At this point, I had to pull out the big guns. I mentioned his mom.

"Your mom doesn't like your mangy fur." Take that, bear-face.

He simply replied with "At least my mom doesn't want me to cut my mangy fur."

This got me a little mad, so I started pointing at him. Mind you, bears DO NOT like to be pointed at.

He then ran at me. I then dramatically jumped out of the way while the Six Million Dollar Man sound effect played and forced him into a tree. Unfortunately, he recovered.

He then began chasing me around the lake. I had to resort to dirty tricks: I threw a stick at his feet. This stumbled him up but not enough.

He came at me again, but this time I jumped on his back and began steering him by tugging his ears. Yes, you can steer bears.

While riding bearback (BEAR-back! Get it? No? Well you stink.) I looked for a way to end this epic, yet not-so-violent battle.

Thinking quickly, I steered him into a trash can full of fatty foods. Upon consuming so much at one time, he then had a heart attack.

As he clinched his arm in pain, he looked up at me and said "Good game." Watching him die somewhat peacefully with a smile on his face, I realized this brave beast must live on somehow. So I took him home and shaved his head and arms. And that is why my flip-flops are so furry.

Tha. End.

June 8, 2009

Action Figure Collecting Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Fun

As many of you know, I collect and still play with action figures.


Short answer: I'm a geek who refuses to put his inner-child in a corner.

I've just always gotten a simple pleasure out of buying them and I always get a joy out of having various heroes and villains duking it out.

At one point in my life, believe it or not, I hardly focused on the play value.

As a child, I was never to picky about action figures. I loved the cheap discount/dollar store figures just as much as the major ones available at K-B, Toys R Us, Walmart, Target, etc. They were just fun.

Skip ahead a few years and I became a "collector". Therefore, I paid close attention to detail, articulation, accessories, dates of release for a certain series, etc. And toy shopping wasn't just "Hey, this guy looks super cool" like it was when I was younger. It was like I was looking for the right car. Oh sure, a car would be just fine but it needs to be the perfect car for me. I was buying particular figures for particular reasons.

When I'd go to any comic shop that sold old toys, I'd get a second chance to get a figure I missed out on when I was younger. Upon buying a few of them, I noticed the quality wasn't as great as a lot of stuff and sometimes the weapons or action features were pretty cheesy. But I realized something they had that was the reason I loved them when I was younger: they had a fun factor.

I'd been too busy treating action figures like works of art that I forgot the purpose of them. Now, some action figures I have are from collector oriented lines. That doesn't stop me from playing with them from time-to-time. Sure I spent about fifteen bucks on Captain Atom and all he's really meant for is to stand on my shelf and look stoic. But hey, he looks like the type who could fight a giant generic robot. Plus with one leg bent upward, he gets that cool hovering pose. And that look on his face just says "Yeah, I could've gone home with a collector who'd keep me in the box, but Tanner gives me the oppurunity to be the butt-kicking hero I was made to be. That Dollar General brand robot never stood a chance."

Now I split it up. Sometimes I'll hunt for specific figures to add to the collection when I got to a comic book store. But if I'm at Walmart, Target, or Toys R Us, I look for toys I think will just be fun and provide my inner-child with a good, action-packed playtime. 'Action Figure Collector Tanner' may want to get that epically posed Captain America that stands there, but 'Forever-Ten-Years-Old Tanner' thinks the CORPS! figures will make for a super cool military themed adventure in the sandbox.

But no matter what, I try to find the fun factor in any action figure I buy now. If it doesn't have a high play value, I think of cool ways to display it. Just so long as I find the fun in it.

After all, isn't that the point of toys?

May 29, 2009

For Lack of a Better Blog

I give you... THE GREAT OFFICE WAR!!!

I dare you to tell me that was not the most epic Nerf battle waged across cubicles. I DARE you.


May 22, 2009

Cartoon's That Could Do Well In Live-Action Territory (If Done Right) Part One

Yet again, Tanner has been struck by the faceless foe known as writer's block. Well, it actually has a face this time. The face of David McCallum. Tanner's been too busy watching The Man from U.N.C.L.E. to think up a good blog, so I'm going to do one instead.

After Tanner's little rant on The Rise of Cobra, he felt that we should do a joint project on certain cartoon shows that we feel deserve the live-action treatment (if done right).

Seeing the trailer for the upcoming G.I. Joe flick (Action Force for me when I was a wee bit smaller), I know that some studios don't care much for the original stories or what made the shows so fun to begin with. I honestly didn't care much for anything involving the military when I was younger. I found my dad's old war films to be a bit, dare I say, boring. But watching Action Force made me realize just how cool the military really was. Okay, so they weren't officially 'soldiers', but the aspect was great.

Pardon that little talk about action force. I'd pretty much be repeating what Tanner said in his anti-Rise of Cobra post. But my point is that these cartoons had great ideas that would still be great in live-action movies with some touch-ups here-and-there so they'll appeal to teens and adults. Some, however, wouldn't need touch-ups because they were deep even when marketed to children.

Tanner wanted this list to be mainly cartoons popular in the states. Sorry, Bananaman.


This would make a great film. The aesthetic would probably have to be changed a bit because the story is great, but I don't think those costumes would look as good if put into live-action. But the whole space western theme could be fun for many people.

I don't really want to rip-off the look of another great space western (at least, I consider it a space western), but I can see BraveStarr having a look and feel similar to Firefly and Serenity. Maybe sci-fi up the costumes a bit, but not so much to make it feel like a bad 80's sci-fi flick. And given the improvements in visual effects and make-up, I bet we could have an incredibly terrifying Tex Hex. Some may see the Prairie People as the second coming of the ewoks, but the ewoks did rock in the end.

When it comes to casting this one, I only have two actors in mind off the top of my head. For the heroic and virtuous Marshall BraveStarr, I feel Adam Beach would be a perfect choice. Look at BraveStarr and then look at Adam beach. PERFECT!!! He has that perfect tough-but-caring feel to him and even has the Marshall's smile. He'd definitely do major justice to this role, no pun intended. As for Tex Hex, leader of the Carrion Bunch and BraveStarr's arch enemy, Sam Elliott would be ideal. I'm not just picking him because he's pretty much the go-to-guy when you need a tough cowboy (or outlaw in this case), but because he could bring an odd menace to the role. Plus I think his voice would match Hex's zombie-like exterior better than that of the original voice.

Also I just want to see a shoot-out in space between Adam Beach and Sam Elliott.


This one is just begging for an epic live-action translation. Nothing would have to even be changed from the original's overall plot. Gargoyles was a show that easily appealed to children and adults. At times I'm surprised Disney even produced it. It had action, drama, suspense, violence. TRUE LIFE VIOLENCE IN A SATURDAY MORNING DISNEY CARTOON!!! Come on, you're wanting a live-action rendition just as bad as me.

Considering Disney studios has started to go into the darker world of the PG-13 rating with the POTC trilogy, I'm sure they'd be fine with making Gargoyles darker than it already is. Plus the studio would be crazy to change anything from the original. Gargoyles seems like it was born to get a big-screen epic.

This is one where I think a few of the voice actors could actually come back to portray their animated counterparts. Jonathan Frakes and Salli Richardson seem to be spitting images of David Xanatos and Eliza Maza, respectively. As for the Gargoyles, I'm still not fully sure. It's be great if the studios would do the smart thing and use actors under heavy prosthetic make-up and suits. If this was the case, I know two actors picked out. Michael Clark Duncan as Goliath (was there any doubt on this choice?) and Bob Hoskins as Hudson. As for the other members of the clan, I'd have to do some thinking. Although, Tanner Criswell Roberts may be a good choice for the role of Lexington.

That's all for edition one. Tanner will give you number two as soon as he's done watching Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin save the world.


May 12, 2009

Introduction to Prince Calvin Mortimer

'The Out-There Encounters of Mortimer and Cogsworth' is a series of steampunk-themed short stories I'm currently working on which involve the various adventures of Prince Calvin Mortimer of Eldonia and his personal pilot, Bernard Cogsworth. Here's just a little intro to one of the title characters.

Prince Calvin Mortimer

Prince Calvin Mortimer is, as his title suggests, next in line for the throne of the continent of Eldonia. His brother, Sir Mortimer Mortimer, was originally first in line for throne, but decided to make a career out of his life with the King's Royal Guard and gave up his title to Calvin.

Since childhood, he's been trained in the use of close combat weapons. He's considered by many to be the best swordsman in Dalphonodene. He trained himself in the use of personal firearms. His favorite weapons are the rapier which was given to him on his thirteenth birthday, the six-shooter given to him by his Uncle Luther, and the dagger which has been past down from king to prince for generations.

Calvin has always had a taste for adventure. At the age of seventeen, he was involved in a world wide manhunt for the infamous criminal, John Jarvest. The hunt lead Calvin to the Clock of Macronis where he challenged Jarvest, a self-proclaimed gentleman, to a duel at the heart of the clock. Nobody truly knows what happened in the clock tower, but they do know that Calvin was the only person to leave it. All over Dalphonodene, he was being considered a hero.

Since then, Calvin has been hunting for excitement. When on his diplomatic missions, he takes a little time to himself to "have a little bit fun." He's faced beasts, sky pirates, criminal geniuses, ghosts, tyrants, and a few scorned women. These little side trips have lead to the retirement of at least twenty-nine personal pilots in a matter of five years. He's hoping that Captain Bernard Cogsworth will be number thirty.

May 6, 2009

Why Tanner Isn't Excited About G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

For those of you who don't know, I'm a pretty big fan of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero. I love the toys. I love the cartoon. I love the comics. I thought it was one of the coolest things in the world. And looking back, it's still a great idea even for those not in elementary school.

For those of you not too familiar with G.I. Joe, I'll show you the intros from the T.V. series and the animated movie. The basic reason for the Joe team being formed is explained in them

I honestly don't think anyone can say it better than the opening narration. "America's daring highly-trained special mission force." And that last shot on the movie intro featuring the Joe team on the Statue of Liberty causes "I'm Proud to be an American" to start playing in my head. Patriotic. Action-packed. Catchy tunes. Gotta love it.

And let's not forget the famous G.I. Joe PSA's.

Now imagine my excitement when I first read that a G.I. Joe movie was in the works. I couldn't wait to see the trailer. And then I saw the trailer.

I was smiling at the beginning of the trailer. I was smiling when I saw Hawk. And then the "Delta Six Accelerator Suits" came on. At that point, I couldn't see straight.

I'll admit, there were parts of the trailer I enjoyed. Christopher Eccelston as Destro. The Eiffel Tower being decimated. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow crossing swords. That all looked cool.

Things I'm not excited about are Duke being played by pretty boy new-comer Channing Tatum. He wasn't going to do the movie originally because he thought it was going to "promote war". The Joe team never promoted war. If anything, it promoted patriotism. Taylor Roberts should've been their choice for this role. (Love ya, bro)

As I mentioned earlier, I'm also turned off by the accelerator suits. This is supposed to be a G.I. Joe movie. Not an Iron Man rip-off. If the Joe team is so highly-trained, why would they need the armor equivalent of steroids?

But the biggest complaint comes from something not seen in the trailer. It's the following image I'm about to show you.


Yes. That's supposed to be Cobra Commander. Don't like him? Neither do I. It would have been much simpler to just give him the hood or helmet. But no. They have to make him look less like a leader of a global terrorist militia and make him look more like a bad rip-off of Kroenen from Hellboy.

What I was hoping would be a super cool non-war military film (I'm talking to you, Channing) is becoming a what looks like a sci-fi action flick. Not cool, Hollywood.

Here's a few things that could have been done that would bring in Joe fans.

Ditch the suits and give them their individual outfits
That was one thing I loved so much about the original show and comic books. One way you knew who-was-who was by their outfits. Duke and Flint were the good ol' fashioned soldiers. Shipwreck looked like a tough-as-nails Sailor. Snake Eyes had the sleak ninja gear (well, at least Hollywood didn't mess with that).

Give Cobra Commander his hood
It doesn't remind us of the KKK. It's alright to put the hood on him.

Let Larry Hama and Chuck Dixon write the script
Who else could do an amazing cinematic story for the Joe team other than the man who gave them their story and the man currently keeping their legacy alive via the comic books?

With all of that being said, I'm still going to see it when it hits the dollar theater. Why? Well, I need a good follow up.

Why is Tanner showing so much distaste for the upcoming G.I. Joe movie? Now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.


May 1, 2009

The Other Me's

I was watching American Splendor and a particular scene really made me think.

After seeing this, I wondered how many other Tanner Robertses (never had to pluralize my name) are out there. I then reliazed that I may not wanna take the time to count. I did continue to wonder what the lives the other Tanner Robertses. I decided to turn to Google and see what I could find.

A Tanner Roberts on is apparently an easy person to get along with but doesn't want you to eff with him.

There's a video of Tanner Roberts skating on Youtube. (He looks a little like the Tanner I mentioned above)

There was a Layne Roberts who unfortunately passed away but had a child named Tanner. She also had another son named Taylor.

Tanner Roberts at Drury University is against vandalism.

Tanner Roberts of Anoka County unforunately lost his girlfriend at the age of 19.

There happens to be a Tanner Criswell Roberts of (Okay, so that one IS me)

Tanner Roberts, a sophomore, is on the honor roll at Staples Motley High School.

Tanner Roberts on Yahoo Questions would like to know how to make a cool signature.

There seem to be many Tanner Robertses involved with wrestling and/or track.

Tanner Roberts is the pilot of the Starship USS Andromeda.

Those are just a handful of other Tanner Robertses I found. Thanks to social networking, I may actually interview a few.

Until next time.

April 30, 2009

Murphy's First Blog

Hello, everyone. Murphy Lee Brannigan here. I'm a pretty good friend and writing partner to Tanner. When I say writing partner, I mean we just write near each other. I usually don't know what he's writing about till he's done and vice versa. He wanted to start this blog as a joint project and told me to post something today because he needs to think of a good idea for himself.

Therefore, I'm pretty much filler.

I guess I should tell you a bit about myself.

First of all, I'm from County Longford in Ireland. I was born in the village of Drumlish. It's a rather nice village. It has the highest number of single men in Ireland (I being one of them). We're also pretty good when it comes to footballing (SHOUT OUT TO THE FATHER MANNING GAELS). Wow, I just gave a shout out. I've been hanging out with Tanner too much.

I'm a decent actor, a mediocre singer, and a tolerable writer. A lot of you may be thinking "Hmmm, he sounds a bit like Tanner." No. Tanner is a pretty wonderful actor, a fairly rubbish singer, and a decent writer.

I started writing when I was young because not too many people in my family seemed to want to hear my ideas. Might have been because I didn't care much for the Catholic church and therefore I was a heretic who sold my soul to the devil for a notepad (Seriously, my great grandfather said that to my face). So I jotted little things here and there and then started making stories out of them. I thought about persuing a career in journalism, but my family didn't trust me and their opinion of me would have gotten worse if I became a member of the media. So, I packed up my stuff and decided to travel the world. I discovered the internet while travelling and found a poem of Tanner's online. I thought it was pretty good and got in touch with him to tell him that I thought he was going to be one of the best poets of our generation.

Turns out he doesn't care much for writing poetry and only did it out of boredom. No matter. We still talked about our prose writing.

After my wonderful correspondance with him, I decided to pay a visit to America. I met with Tanner two years ago and we had some fun reading random books out loud and doing our wacky voices. He also showed me 'The Boondock Saints'. Pretty good movie. Flannery and Remus did pretty good accents. I liked the whole mission from God angle.

Okay I gotta stop myself from doing a film review.

So Tanner and I hung out a lot. Unfortunately, he wasn't old enough to visit pubs and clubs and the like. So I had to do that on my own. Upon visiting various hang-outs, I discovered that some women find me attractive. This was pretty new to me seeing as how back home I wasn't very desirable. I wasn't the toughest man in the world. I could only drink a quarter of my body weight. Oh, and I was slowly converting to Calvinism. That might have been a big reason.

But here, they don't really care about that. Women will go gaga over you if you're not too funny-looking, say a few charming things, and have an accent. With this voice, I am one sexy beast in America.

I just said sexy beast. CURSE YOU, TANNER!!!

Where was I going? Oh yeah.

I just spend my time travelling America (I like it here for reasons mentioned above), writing away, visiting internet cafes with free laptop usuage since I don't have the money to buy my own, and just enjoying what God has to offer.

I'll write a few musings and whatnot now-and-then. Hope you enjoy reading them.

If you'd like to get in touch with me, just email me.

So long, all you wonderful people

April 29, 2009

Top Ten Fictional Characters I'd Like To Go On An Adventure With

I promise not all my posts will be geeky lists, but I've been thinking about good subjects for REAL blogs. I'll have something soon. Until then, I give you another list from my geeky fanboy mind.

10. Doc Sampson
9. Anita Blake
8. Buck Rogers
7. Professor Challenger
6. Philleas Fogg
5. Etrigan
4. Rincewind
3. The Phantom
2. Sherlock Holmes
1. The Doctor

April 27, 2009


This is the first of many posts in which you, the dear readers, get to read one of my ideas. Enjoy.

He was born William Matthew Drake. After his mother and father died, his only family was his brother and sister-in-law. They were his only friends. They were murdered in cold blood. As with most vengeance-seeking vigilantes, William knew there was no going back to who he was. On the day of their funeral, he commited emotional suicide. They would have only gotten in the way of what he felt needed to be done. He was no longer William Matthew Drake. He died with Chris and Sandra.

He now only went by the name Wanion. For small-time crooks, it meant misfortune. For the murderer of his best friends, it meant vengeance. For the entire Darkstone underworld, it meant a plague.

He isn't perfect. He doesn't see himself as a hero. He sees himself as a person given extraordinary abilities thrown into an extraordinary situation. His emotions get the best of him. When he comes face to face with the man who killed his brother and sister-in-law, jail time doesn't seem like the thing that should be served. To him, vengeance must be served. Turning him in is the last thing on his mind. First, he wants to beat him until he's barely breathing.

The cops see him as a threat, and therefore he feels likewise.

His powers consist of increased agility, increased strength, and the ability to manipulate the light around his body thus rendering him invisible. These were given to him by his friend, Prof. Sheryl Alexander. She sometimes regrets it, knowing he already has a "gift". This "gift" is something he'd like to either control or forget. But the way things are going for him, neither of these things will be happening for him.

When it comes to fighting, he's fairly unorthodox. His moves mainly consist of a few heavy punches and a kick here or there. He's offensive in his attack. On rare occasions, he feels the need to use firearms. Though it's not his favorite means of bringing people down, it's definately not his weakest.

Physically, he doesn't look like much. Compared to most, he's rather small. His clothing consists of a black denim jacket with a crimson hoodie underneath. On his chest is a crudely spray-painted W. Beneath the hood is a ghostly, white face with black around his milky-white eyes and a black bandana covering his mouth. Grey, fingerless, mud-stained gloves adorn his hands. His jeans are lightly torn and faded. His black boots have seen better days. His hair is fairly unkempt.

He speaks only when he feels the need to. When it comes to criminals, he lets his actions do the talking.

He shows some mercy to small crooks. He does what must be done to wanted criminals. He feels no remorse for rapists, pedophiles, or those who abuse their power. He's frightened by only one thing: failure.

Darkstone has always been a city full of monsters. Maybe it's about time this city gets a ghost.

April 25, 2009

My Comic Book Dream Roles

I am many things. A son, a brother, a friend, a mind. But there's two things that most know me as: a comic book fan and an actor.

As comic book fan, I dream of being various heroes that I read about. As an actor, I dream of big roles that I'd like to get the chance to obtain. When the two meet, I'm a hopeless, geeky actor who thinks about various characters I'd like to play.

Now, many roles I've dreamed of have already been taken (Robin, Rorschach, the Spirit, Abe Sapien), some may not really get the chance to make it to the screen (Mr. A, Dagwood, Jason Blood, The Drummer), and some I just really don't fit (Adam Warlock, Hawkeye, the Darkness, Orion).

And now, the ever-expanding list of various comic book (and comic strip) characters I'd like to portray.

Blue Beetle/Ted Kord
The Creeper
The Drummer
Jason Blood [I would love to play Jason's demon identity, Etrigan, but he'd most likely have to be done using a suit actor and/or CGI]
Beetle Bailey
Plastic Man
Hawkeye/Clint Barton
Max Mercury
The Blue Devil
Mandrake the Magician
Black Mask
The Darkness
Gentleman Ghost
Elongated Man
The Escapist
The Amazing Screw-On Head
Mr. A
Mad Hatter
Ant-Man/Scott Lang
Dr. Strange
The Cavilier
Cosmic Boy
The Bouncing Beatnik
Doctor Light
Namor, the Sub-Mariner
Sandman/Wesley Dodds
The Question/Vic Sage
Dove/Don Hall
Dr. Mid-Nite
Union Jack/Joey Chapman
Green Lantern/Kyle Rayner
Adam Warlock
Cracker Jack
Doctor Fate/Kent Nelson

April 24, 2009

Carpe-ing the Diem

I've never had to write the past tense for carpe. Horace is probably turning in his grave and cursing me in Latin.

Now onto the blog and meaning of the title for said blog.

To begin the story, I should give you the set-up. My friend and I decided to enjoy a nice evening involving dinner and a movie.

Before the movie, we had dinner at TGI Friday's (love the fish n' chips). Food was good and we had our silly little conversations about movies, music, and my unusual-but-not-too-odd man-crushes on David Tennant and John Barrowman. Well, said friend had to use the restroom which then caused me to be the only one in the booth. As I was twiddling my thumbs, the hostess came over to my table. She just started asking how our dinner was, which didn't seem to odd. But then she just rested her knee on the seat opposite of me and was asking about why I enjoy the fish n' chips so much. Like most men, Tanner doesn't know too much about flirtatious signals. I took this as one of those.

On our way out to the car, I asked my friend what she thought of this. She said it was a little different that the hostess would do that and that she did conveniantly when my FEMALE friend wasn't at the table. Sometimes I look way too much into things.

As we enjoyed our gigglesome film, I thought so many times when women were incredibly obvious about flirting with me and I did nothing. As soon as the movie was out, I was talking to my friend about this. And then she asked "So, you wanna go back to TGI Friday's?" I looked up , gritted my teeth, and said "Yes. I think I will." So we drove on back and I was in the car for a few minutes thinking about what to do. "It's do or die, Tanner," said my friend. I took a deep breath, walked to the door, and guess who walked out. Yes. It was that nice hostess who I shared a little minute-long conversation about fish n' chips and I want to visit London. I walked up to her and sputtered out a few words about how I kinda felt she and I had a connection and how I was a lonely dork who doesn't really know how to read women upon my first meeting with them. She gave me a little grin and said "Actually, I'm married." I said good night, walked to the car, told my friend about it, and we had a giggle about it. "But at least you got out of your comfort zone and took a shot." This was true. I did.

I was feeling pretty good. Still am a little.

However, I don't think I'll go back to that TGI Friday's for a while.

And yes. I'm aware that I have much to learn about women.

April 23, 2009

Maiden Voyage of the Blog You Are Reading now

Salutations, dear readers

This is the first of hopefully many blogs from one Tanner Criswell Roberts. I've been off the blog scene for quite some time but I felt I should revisit seeing as how there's a lot of stuff I've been wanting to write and put out there. Also, I've been wanting to rant here and there as well.

About what?

Random things that don't really matter to most of you.

If you're looking for a blog containing commentary on current events such as the president, current economic issues, health care, etc. then you have come to the wrong place. Very rarely will I ever touch those topics unless I feel like ticking off those who know more about them than me.

Reasons I Want to Start Blogging Again:
-I missed it
It's been a few years since I've blogged. Last time I did it, I was rather young and didn't really feel like actually WRITING on it rather than posting small things here and there. Of course, that was in the days of Xanga when most people wouldn't read one of my blogs if it was over a paragraph in length (with the exception of a few patient friends). I've missed the joy of just typing away about random occurencse for people to read and maybe giggle at. Therefore, I am looking to rediscover that joy.

-I have a few ideas for books, stories, comics, films, etc.
A few new ideas have popped into this head of mine that I've wanted to share and get opinions on. They'll be posted when I'm able to get them out. I have a few already written up that I'll post sometime.

-Because I can
Need I say more?

My, that was longer than I had expected.

So, that's what you can expect from this silly, little blog.

If you're still reading this, then you are a fantastic person. Bless you.

Good bye, dear readers

Tanner Criswell Roberts