March 29, 2010

And So The Mind Wanders

I'm listening to The Red Panda Adventures. There's quite a turn of events at the starts of the adventure. Apparently, a gun-toting villain claiming to be the Red Panda is causing trouble in Toronto. It seems the real Red Panda and his trusty sidekick, the Flying Squirrel, are going to have to work against this diabolical doppleganger as well as the police to save the day. What excitement and intrigue, ladies and gentlemen.

There should be more superheroes based on less obvious animals. I'd like to see an Otterman or the Masked Mallard. Those are both animals commonly associated with water. The mallard could have shoes allowing him to float on water and wings which allow him to soar. Otterman, on the "otter" hand, I'm not too sure about. Did you like that little pun? Some might find it "otterly" ridiculous. Ha.

One door closes and another door opens. I intended to inquire about getting a job recently. Turns out the store I was wanting to work at will be closing. Closing door. However, it will be replaced with a different store which will surely need employees. Opening door. See what I did there?

Having animal heads on the wall is not weird. However, giving them names and voices is. You're wondering by now if I did that. The answer is yes. The deer my brother shot is named Bartholamew and the deer my mother shot is named Dale. They have some zany conversations. Hilariy often ensues. If they could, they'd fight crime. That'd be interesting. They'd gore crime in the gut. Police would see them as a menace, but the public would see them as shining lights. Imagine what adventures they'd have duking out with the criminal underworld.

Life would be much better with background music. But what if everyone's BGM could be heard? That sound would be utterly awful and would cause many an ear to bleed. The blood from everyone's ears would make the ground quite slippery, thus causing many people to slip. Slippage would lead to falling. Falling would lead to dying. All that death because you needed everyone to hear that song that went with your current mood. For shame.

I say "FWAH!!!" a lot, but I should have a catchphrase, not just a word. Perhaps someday I will. And that phrase will be all over t-shirts found on Cafe Press. You will then see it being worn by hopeless dorks who are typing random things on their blogs and working on their speculative fiction. Perhaps they'll have their own catchphrase someday. They might even by typing these same exact words. Well, they won't be using "FWAH!!!" That's my word.

Hats are always wonderful. We should all wear more hats. You, reading this, next time you go ouy, why not wear a nice hat? Think about it.

I've decided that barely anyone reads this blog. Why would they want to? It's none too interesting. I'm not sure how entertaining it is. I could abuse this piece of knowledge by insulting people. However, I won't do that. Crazy things would probably happen.

Should I become a masked vigilante? Just wondering.


  1. "Should I become a masked vigilante? Just wondering."

    If vigilant for the right cause. Submitting to proper authorities and following both God's law and the law of the land is a must as well. The realm of the anti-hero is a dark and dangerous one. Keep karma in mind.

  2. Anonymous, Tanner is one not to be taken too seriously. Your ignorance of him makes me laugh.